See part 1 here – https://arpitk.wordpress.com/2010/10/17/i-proposed-she-refused/
As I was thinking afterwards how unromantic it is to propose somebody on phone ;). And it reminded me of communication training – written communication is easier than telephonic than face to face, to deal with ;). However courage was not a problem 😉
I thought of becoming normal after this last phone call, I mean to say, to behave as if this event is deleted, but somehow it went as if I am ignoring her!!!! It was really bad!!
Anyways, I got busy with 3 back to back YES!+, plus office and EXIT formalities, etc. Whenever I had even little troublesome time, I automatically became more busy! Grace 🙂 reminding me a sentence from ‘*Conversation with Master’ – “You are not alone my dear. All the problems are getting solved and there is some power with you who is walking with you through all the problems. Life is too short to keep solving problem one after another. Just wake up and walk ahead, problems will get solved by themselves,…..”. I didn’t took this as a problem though…..
I was in Bangalore then for Navaratri. It was all celebration time with Guruji there performing HOMAS, etc and thousands of people around. As I saw Guruji 1st time, after reaching Bangalore, coming in Yadnyashala for Ganesh Pooja, tears rolled down my eyes, tears of gratefulness – for giving me chance to serve, being his instrument and I don’t know what all…. I was all busy there too, even with Ayurvedic medicines ;).
And after that was GuruPooja course with awesome Bhanu didi. And she started like – this is the course just to relax, etc. But what happened then is interesting, unbelievable for me!!! I never ever had thought of this happening, even in remote possibility.
I started seeing her at least 5-6 times a day, in other gal’s !!!! The way it is shown in many
movies. Though it used to remain for 1-2 seconds only. In movies, it is shown as to show – You are in LOVE. This was crazy, really crazy :). I was like what is happening to me!!!! And what used to come to my mind was – “World appearance is unreal” – line from The Supreme Yoga – Yoga Vasistha. I was like, I know this…. then why it is happening still!! It was all so much fun just to watch my mind :):) wow 🙂 I was just in wonder 🙂
It happened for 5-6 days!! After I revised Yoga Vasistha (page 26 to 35 only), then mind stuff got subsided and I rested in peace. Thanks to Guruji for raising me to a level where I can understand this book!! I think 🙂
I realized it was because of Aasakti/aasaktchitta (I don’t know exact translation of these words, closest possible would be attachment). As told by my uncle – what is needed is Purity in Heart and Intelligence in Mind. And he said – I have pure heart, but lack of intelligence…… it was long back… 3 years back 🙂 ;).
So much learning :):)
Let LOVE be 🙂
Between, she started behaving/replying so rude (at least I felt so). And I was applying Acceptance point 🙂 Of course I was not to put my head under axe again and again (not remembering proper phrase).
*Conversation with Master – Discourse by my Master H. H. Sri Sri Ravishankar
P.S. – I don’t look funny the way cartoon looks here 😉 and She is also gorgeous than in cartoon photos 🙂
Some time back, I called a girl and told her that I started liking her 🙂 And as unexpected, her reply was “OK, So What’ !!! …. I am not interested in relationship….. n few more things. That 3 minute conversation decided whom I am not going to be with 🙂
But interesting thing is as most people Fall in LOVE, I didn’t. I rise in LOVE :):)
With the type of intelligence I have got, everything seemed absolutely normal on the surface! And inside, though there was no big storm (Sadhana, Seva, Satsang definitely helps :)), there was little disturbance!! During this time, what was on my mind, was recorded by Facebook :):) Status messages :-
1. No more marriage thoughts plz 😉 🙂
2. Being d ONE is like being in LOVE 🙂 …. MATRIX 🙂
….. not Gal frnd Boy frnd LOVE….. the way Guruji LOVES everybody 🙂
3. Thx to Guruji for making my Happiness independent of EVENTS 🙂 🙂
4. Sri Sri Yoga…. an awesome course 🙂 …. how come i didn’t do it for so long !!!! started today 🙂
5. jst wondering, how my present choices/decisions will shape up my life for next 30-40 years of my stay here on earth !!!!
6. i shld hv asked Bau…. !!!! anyway it’s gone now…. learning for the day 🙂
7. Everything is happening 🙂
8. There’s a beautiful beautiful, so very beautiful feeling……. In my ……… Heart 🙂
9. What has happened has happened exactly the same way it was supposed to happen… 🙂 because Past was destined and Future is free will !! 🙂
10. Pain is nth but consciousness wanting to expand and to become free. Pain is not a permanent state. – Sri Sri 🙂 Knowledge comes at right time through SMS also 😉
11. Never Mind!! 🙂
12. ”mora piya mose bolat nahi” – wht a song.. jst they shld not hv shown so much of blood in movie during picturisation of song !!!
13. Let go 🙂
14. If things are happening as i wish, i m very happy….. but if things r not happening the way i want it to, then i m super happy 🙂 🙂 as it’s happening according to GOD’s wish 🙂 🙂
15. Am i given this experience so that i learn from experience !!!! Was that a part of my training pgm !! 😉
16. Learning – Holding on to unfullfiled desire brings instability/misery/confusion. – This lead me to know tht – divine has some greater plans for me 🙂 What i was wanting for is probably very small 🙂 …. here comes question of faith and i hv full faith in HIM 🙂 – Just let go 🙂
And so on…… :):):):)
I have gotten over the small little disturbance with commitment! I am not going to propose anybody hereon….:):) And whatever happens, happens for the best! This incident/event gave me such a deep insight, showed me the power that I have and how much I have grown and grace that is flowing in my life…. Nothing in the world can shake my smile 🙂
This doesn’t mean there is no Love or Love ends…. it seems it’s just becoming independent of everything 🙂
This post was written (was in draft) before I came to bangalore for Navaratri. Lot of things have changed during this period….. to be cntd…. (after Gurupooja course :))
Here I am writing about couples before marriage…… 😉
Having girlfriend during college days is a matter of pride for many, isn’t it? With fast paced life, now even school kids are having their mates… that’s different story.
If you are experienced, you will easily be able to relate it: Every couple (in early part of relationship) thinks that theirs is the best pair in the world. Nobody else loves as deeply as them. Sad part is, for many, this remains reality only till the time talks for marriage begins….. duo start to think more practical, more of mind start coming in picture than heart(love) which was the case till then. Till the time one is in Love, anything and everything is accepted as it is. In Love there is total acceptance.
And why there are break-ups, I think mainly because acceptance stops – one starts finding faults in other…..sooner or later. That’s why 99% of love marriages are unsuccessful.
“When you love someone and see their faults, stay with them and help them fill the holes” (instead of fighting and running away) – Sri Sri